Life will always have their ups and downs. When life is up, it’s like a natural high, everything seems light and happy and the world is a beautiful place. When life is down, it’s like being hit by a truck…a big truck, it’s like everything that can go wrong will or has already gone wrong. Of course I have a real-life story to go along with this:
One day I called my mother since I haven’t talked to her in a while, she informed me of everything that has been happening at home. A family member of mine, Shawn* (fake names to protect identity) was in the hospital, but his wife Diane* didn’t show or had no interest in see if he was okay. It really made my mother and aunt (Shawn’s mother) upset that his own wife wouldn’t be there when he needed her the most. On top of that our neighbor Robin*, who has been our neighbor before I was even born, passed away in her home and no one knows why. There were other things that went on that day, but after hearing everything, my only concern was that my mother wasn’t too shaken by everything happening at once. She was dealing with a lot of lows that day, I prayed for her that night.
There will be times when we will be hit a lot of lows, and they can happen within one year or in my mom’s case a whole day. Sometimes we feel as if we are about to break because of the overwhelming onslaught of bad events and news. While of course I will always recommend prayer as an option, it’s not the only option.
I learned from a friend of mine who is a cognitive therapist that even though you can’t control what happens externally, you can re-wire thinking pattern to deal with how you feel about a situation. It might sound dismissive to those who have mood disorders (I have depression and anxiety so I can relate) but it’s not really about controlling your emotions as it is going through a mental exercise to change your perspective. Here are some tips courtesy of Dr. Thorrington:
- Make a mood chart: Make a chart describing the situation, how it make you feel and why. Sometime when we are able to break down everything into something tangible it helps organize our thoughts. Write down and answer these questions. a)Is there proof that this event/news is true or false? b) If true could there be an alternative explanation? c)What’s the best thing that could happen? The worst thing? d) If you had a friend in this situation, what would you tell them? Now that you’re able to organize your thoughts you can feel your stress levels gradually going down.
- Realize this situation is only temporary: This will pass, it might be a day, month or even a year, but always remember a bad situation will eventually die down. Sometimes certain situations feel like they will last forever, but everything will fall into place in it’s own time.
- If there’s a solution to the problem, be proactive and fix it: I know earlier I said things will fall into place, but there are some situations where being assertive can work in your favor. Like an argument between friends, if the both of you can sit down and open and honest with each other than the problem will be resolved.
We will have some lows in life that will be difficult to bare, but just remember that (and I know how corny this sounds) after the storm, there is a rainbow.
