From my teenage years up to now, I was pretty sure love was merely a fleeting feeling and people just tend to go through the motions until they couldn’t even do that. Recently, I had a very intense talk with my partner, in which we talked about our needs and the different ways they need to be fulfilled. There where some tears, anger and fear. Fear was the biggest one to overcome, fear of losing each other and losing ourselves. Then in one moment, I realized that he cared about me in a way I’ve never really experienced before and was only asking the same love in return. It might seem selfish to some people but really, it helped me get started on loving myself and tap into the part of me that somehow flickered out.
It’s amazing when you find someone who loves in a way that helps you grow. It makes you feel safe that you have that support of someone that wants the best for you. To know that it’s okay to fail because they will encourage you to keep going and that they believe in you. So I’m sitting here teary eyed, but full of overwhelming happiness.
So how did I find out he was my soulmate:
He doesn’t wish to own me, but nurture me.- You ever heard the saying, “when you like a flower you pluck it, when you love a flower you water it daily.” It’s easy to think of it in terms of plants but when it comes to people it’s not really simple. I used to think that if one loves you they would want to spend all their time with you and no one else.
What I learned from my lover is, if we really love each other, we would want each other to grow. For a while I have been feeling empty but and so has he, we realized that we have gotten so caught up into the newness of our relationship that we forgot to take care of ourselves.
For him: His art is dependent on the bonds he has with other people, this doesn’t mean our bond isn’t strong enough. It simply means he must bond with people on the same creative frequency as him. He explained that while what we have is sacred, he needs external inspiration and it comes from other people’s energy. For me: I one point I have such passion for my writing, it would wake me up in the middle of the night. Now, not so much but after our talk I realize that he know that I may not contain the passion as him when it come to his art, so he’s encourages me to find the passion I been needing for so long. My inspiration comes from within, being in a state of oneness and let the words come to me.
What it means for us: we have each others back, and want each other to grow. A true soulmate wants to nurture your soul, not hinder it. Once I tap into the passion I once had, I want to collaborate with him in something where we both feel our art reflects who we are individuals as well as unit.
Love is a choice and we choose each other: Throughout it all I gave him the option to leave if this wasn’t going to work, in turn he said he would grant me the same if I couldn’t handle it. The result…we kept talking until we reached a level of mutual understanding and both made our decision. We chose to stay even with the option of leaving each other. Why? We gain a lot from each other, we balance each other out and when we give ourselves freedom to be ourselves, it only make us love each other even more.
We allow each other to express certain feelings without judgment: True soulmates will tell each other anything, even things that are hard to talk about. As we were talking, yes I was upset and worried about how things would work from that point. However, when I looked at him, directly into his eyes, I could tell it was very painful for him to be so vulnerable, it took a lot for him to to even bring it up. I felt bad because I didn’t him to feel like he did something wrong. I’m grateful that I have a lover who is honest, I switched my anger to compassion and thanked him for letting me in, instead of pushing me away.
So we realized that we basically want the same things for each other, which is to grow into the best versions of ourselves and to grow as a couple. We don’t want to completely be dependent of each other, but we will do everything to support and encourages each others.
…And that’s how I realized Jack was my soulmate.