Lately, I have been denying some feelings that I have kept inside for a long time. I try my best to quell these negative thoughts because they don’t help be the person I need to be. So now, I realize if I don’t confront these feelings, they will turn into something toxic:
- I’m insecure- I never feel as if I’m enough for those I care about. I hope they love me as much as I love them, is that even possible?
- I doubt myself- Because I feel like I can do better but I’m not trying hard enough.
- I scare myself- While the past is in the past, I have moments when I’m afraid that I’ll fall back into that lost girl who self-destructed.
Now that it’s out in the open, what do I do? How do I get my confidence and grow? I know there’s a way and I know you have the answers I’m looking for. But even then I feel like my spirit is weak and I can’t reach out far enough to connect with you. Please help me I’m very worried , I think my soul is being blocked and I don’t know what to do. I know my friends and even my lover are there to talk to and be there for me, but I can’t bring myself to vocally say it. I don’t want to bring anyone down with my issues, and maybe they won’t understand. I want to be stronger, better, happier and more confident. There’s always room for improvement, but where do I start? Where do I go? You have put me here for a huge purpose, to help others reach their highest potential, I don’t feel like I can fulfill that purpose unless I try to work on myself, and it’s very difficult. I want to be a good person, I want to help those I love and be a vessel of light and love.
I just want to be good…